This is a story about me being in excruciating pain/starved. Oh, and my soap opera moment.
I was twelve at the time. And it began like any other day. I woke up to the late afternoon sun, eye's still tired from being up all last night. Staying in my bed wasn't going to get me food, so I go down the stairs to eat lunch, I get that feeling. The feeling of inevitable misfortune; like you know shit’s gonna go down. But I thought I was being paranoid. Plus, I was extremely tired. As fatigued as a 12 year old girl who stayed in her bedroom all day on the interwebs could be. I wanted to do nothing more than be lazy. Not the relaxing lazy, the sluggish lazy.
I was lazy all day long. I ate, went on the computer, ate, computer. And the occasional bathroom break.
At around 6, I started feeling queezy. And I decided that the computer was the cure. Like it would suck all the lethargy away.
By 7, I was a mess. A head throbbing, eyes twitching, stomach tightening mess. The computer was definitely not the cure for headaches. Oh! But showers always make me feel better! Showers relax! Relaxing is good.
The moment I stepped into the steam filled bathroom, I became extremely light headed and felt like passing out. And then, my dinner decid
ed that my stomach wasn’t a proper dwelling. So it escaped; up my esophagus.
I remember feeling a bit better after the incident and since I felt better, I decided to sleep it off. However, my hair was wet and I’ve never slept with wet hair before. I should have dried it first, but my stomach threatened to give my lunch up as well, and I went to bed.
I’ve never had a hangover before, since I’m underage. But I’m pretty sure my headache after waking up was almost ten times worse than someone waking up after twenty glasses of vodka.
I had no idea what time it was. I just wanted to get downstairs. My room suddenly seemed suffocating. Dramatically, I fell to the ground, as my legs buckled after a few steps. I stayed sprawled on the ground for a while. Then using all the strength I could muster, I start army crawling out the door
I crawled down the short hallway turning off all the lights as I did because each light bulb looked like a sun.
Oh fuck.
Those stairs mocked me.
In a might attempt to get up, I grabbed the banister, and drag myself downstairs. 1am. In the dark living room, I felt better. I'm feeling better! I said down on the cool leather couch and tried to relax a little. My dad was downstairs already. He was watching TV.
My moment of zen was ruined when my head started swirling again. And it got worse and worse.
I told my dad, and he told my grandparents. They thought it would be a good idea to turn on ALL the friggin lights. And started bickering about me.
So my dad and grandparents are sitting around me. All lights are on. Scolding me for sleeping with my hair wet and for my computer overdose. And my head couldn't take it anymore. I broke down crying.
It was terrible. Lights and noise+headache=very sick and scared little me.
By 1:15am, I had yelled at my grandparents to shut up and convinced my dad to take me to the hospital.
Things got worse while I was there.
I was dizzy and disoriented, and the chairs were not comfortable, and there were sick people all around me. Like sick diseased contagious people. Ugh. I had to get on the waiting list. I had a wristband and everything.
I waited for an hour in the fluorescent lighted waiting room with a crying baby, hobo looking man, coughing lady and I didn't want to catch whatever they had so I was breathing through my sleeve the entire time.
At around 1:45, the doctor called me in to give me a little check up. He checked my temperature, my tongue, and in the end he gave me some Tylenol. I'm guessing the Tylenol worked, because I felt a lot better. I was supposed to stay and see the real doctor, but we went home. Because the waiting room was disgusting.
I was a bit toss-y turn-y at first, but I settled in. I was comfortable, my head stopped spinning, everything was normal again. I honestly felt a lot better!
Then they called.
My little bubble of peace popped.
Me:Hello..?
Phone Lady: Yes, hello? Is this Stephanie Zhao?
Me: Erm.. Yeah... Yeah.
PL: We need you to come back right away.
Me:It's okay. I'm feeling better already.
PL: I'm afraid you might have a life threatening condition. We need to check you out.
Me:... eh?
PL: Please come as soon as possible to be examined.
Me: ha...
I got scared. I started spazzing out and wondering how I'll die. I'll never get to highschool! I won't be able to have my own credit card! I'll never drive. I won't be able to do all the things on my bucket list! I DON'T HAVE A BUCKET LIST. I freaked out and slapped my dad awake. And I wrote down a scribbly list of things I wanted to do before I died while we drove to the hospital again.
And they sat me down in one of the little sections. With a bed, sink, and guest chair.
"The doctor will come shortly. While you wait, please pee in this cup."
I took the cup and stepped out of the section thing. I saw busy looking work people and doctors in flow-y jackets with clipboards. Where is the bathroom?! I ran back and stared pleadingly at mom. She nudged me back out. After standing there stupidly for a minute, I ask one of the doctor people. He pointed at a plant and walked away. I walk suspiciously towards the plant.
Tired Offended Teenage Rage Mode: Activated. "I am not an animal! I refuse to pee in a fucking plant. It's a mother fucking plant and people are around. What the fuckity fuck fuck? What kind of hospital tells their patients to pee in a cup in a plant? Jesus Christ Mother Fu-" Oh.. hey... a door. I stepped around it, and pushed the door open.
I was about to go, but then I thought... what if they had a camera in here? Like for emergencies... I mean, this IS a hospital.... I don't wanna pee in front of a camera! But I did eventually.
"Thank you! The doctor will come by shortly."
Apparently shortly in doctor time means 2 hours in people time. Boredom overcame panic quickly. And my mom came in and started lecturing me.
GODDAMMIT I'M SO BORED! Ooh! Look! Doctor's cabinet. I wonder if I'll get in trouble if they caught me poking at the stuff. At least I could make some bunnies out of cotton or blow up a glove balloon......................... but mother was there.
4am: I was starving. I was so hungry my stomach growled every few seconds. You could see my ribs, my tummy was so deflated. I hadn't eaten anything since... dinner. But that was emptied out in the shower. And I was sleeping all night. I would KILL for something to eat.
In walked the doctor.
"Well," he said, "there seems to be nothing wrong with you. It was only a headache." He looked me up and down, "And you said you threw up?"
"Mm-Hmm. I felt better after I upchucked though."
"Well, here. And would you like a turkey sandwich?"
I hate turkey ham sandwiches. I hate I hate I hate them. Well, back then. I'm okay with them now.
Stupidly, I said: "No, I'm okay." And he handed me a packet of papers about health and ANOREXIA/BULIMIA safety papers.
"I guess it was just a virus. Heh. Okay, I'll be back with some more stuff you just sit tight. Here's some orange juice. Let's see how well you keep that down."
And he walked away writing into his clipboard all important like.
OJ+Empty Stomach = UGHHHHHHH.
My stomach felt like it was on fire. I NEEDED food. The closest vending machines were... all the way down the hall at the other wing. I needed money.
Mom: No.
Mom: NO.
The doctor came back handed me more posters, and we left.
God, I hate that hospital.
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